Your honesty gives me hope for the world Jenny. I am a trad Catholic with a wrap sheet of sins I would rather not share. However, I keep trying. I mentally pray often and everywhere through the day, but at night when I reach for my rosary and slide my fingers from bead to bead I feel her peaceful reassurance that good will prevail.
Our Lady and the Rosary prayer are there for everyone, not just we Catholic sinners. It is heartening to know that you chose to give thought to the Holy Mother. I pray that you continue to explore your spiritual path. Great blessings to you and all women who are struggling with the contemporary peer pressure to be the “culture’s version” of a woman. She who can fine tune her soul ( with aid from Mother Mary) will find peace in her own choices. It is truly liberating.
Jenny, thank you for writing this. I find myself, the most elderly of millennials, in exactly the same boat. I’ve always arrogantly dismissed religion as silly superstitions designed to guide and control the thoughtless masses. And having grown up with a pastor grandfather who was praised by his congregants but profoundly failed to demonstrate love to his own family definitely colored my opinion. But looking around at the havoc around us, I’ve sincerely begun to question everything — among them, my knee-jerk feminism that doesn’t reflect my values anymore, the dismissal of family units as the key to stability and happiness, and the role of religion as a guide to happiness via standards, personal reflection, and hope.
Recently I’ve begun to notice the influence of what I can only describe as “God,” in my life, and through my own shock and discomfort at admitting that, I can completely identify with you in your reluctance to admit praying the rosary. It feels deeply odd to admit what is counter to my “Official Views,” but what I viscerally know to be true all the same. Perhaps I will join you, and hope for continued nurturing from God, or Mary, or whoever is out there, in my life.
The way is long, but far more satisfying than endless numbing self exploration. The Church is only a reflection of those in it, and we are a deeply flawed species. We make it what it is, and only we, with reliance on God , can make it work.
great essay Jenny. I have felt everything you have expressed here at some point in my life.
as a Christian myself, I now believe that for the past decade we are finally in the post-Christian phase. I say this with no joy, but it’s incredibly obvious that all the freedom and prosperity that we have enjoyed in the West for the last century was only coasting on the waning equity of Christendom. Jesus said that a house built on sand will collapse and fall into the sea once the rain begins (Matthew 7:24). without a foundation built on a transcendent truth, our society is teetering on the verge of collapse. we see it everywhere.
I understand and relate to your struggles with Faith. a point of view that helped me early on is to think of Faith not as belief, but as trust. as in letting go of the ego that seeks control and surrendering to the Divine. Faith equals True Freedom.
keep praying the Rosary and draw near to the Lord. especially in the presence of Evil.
An excellent piece of thought. Belief without religion is real, but the comforting rituals we grew up with have meaning too. The rosary is also a much healthier way to find comfort than mac n cheese, Fritos, or Dove bars.
What a place of peace your Substack is, Jenny. I'm not praying the rosary, but I did build a labyrinth in my backyard beside a statue of St. Francis that I found at a garden shop. Many years ago, I once prayerfully walked a peace-filled outdoor labyrinth on the grounds of a Catholic Church in Knoxville, TN (you had to walk through a small grove of pine trees to get to it—I had the whole labyrinth to myself that day and —oh!—what a heavenly experience it was). I loved that peaceful labyrinth experience so much that I built my own labyrinth in my backyard, complete with the same-sized St. Francis statue perched on a nearby rock in the woods beside the labyrinth. As our world grows darker every day, we all need to grab ahold of whatever spiritual tools help us to feel closer to The Divine. For some, it's reading the Bible; for others, it's going to church or listening to sermons. But for folks like me (and I'm guessing you, too), it's the quiet daily rituals like praying the rosary, participating in Lent (which I'm also doing now), lighting candles as one prays for others (a practice I borrowed from a friend’s Catholic Church I once visited—I saw her light a candle for a friend and I was hooked!), or walking a labyrinth. You may already know this, but the Catholics used to have labyrinths built into the floors of their cathedrals in Europe. It was a way of mimicking a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. Folks would make a pilgrimage to their closest cathedral, then they would walk the labyrinth, inside the cathedral, praying to God all the way to the center of the labyrinth and then back out again. Any little thing we can do to make The Divine more real is, in my opinion, a good (as in “only God is good”) thing. I believe we should embrace such acts whole heartedly!.... Thank you for your post today, Jenny. It made me feel the way I do when I occasionally crack open a window in my house during the winter so the whole house can receive a blast of cold but cleansing air. Blessings to you, Jenny! : )
What an excellent essay. I have subscribed to your Substack as a result of reading this, and am grateful I have done so. Read a few of your previous posts and I find your insights into Western decay quote compelling. Looking forward to reading more of your work. And I’m also glad that you’ve found solace in Our Lady. She is the spiritual mother of Catholic and non-Catholic alike.
Satan appears as an angel of light and is all too happy for us to prioritize absolutely anything over a direct conversation with our Heavenly Father on a moment by moment basis. You really can talk to him about anything; everything.
You don’t have to be a true believer to talk to God and have him hear you as long as you are truly, honestly, genuinely seeking the truth; the only truth that is really true; God’s truth.
I was struck by your insight that the presence of evil -- not just ordinary self-absorption or slagging off others, but truly nihilistic and (I'll say it) demonic evil,--- points backhandedly at the existence of good, and of God.
There is so much truly twisted and imbecilic *wrongfulness* (beyond what you'd expect from mere humans) that I think this world would be annihilated were it not for a countervailing good, a good that is much more deeply rooted and, in the end, invincible. It must be so, or we would have all have dissolved into salted-snail-slime long ago.
God bless you, Jenny. And may Mary shelter you under her mantle, near to her Son, near to her heart.
At their most fundamental, all religions force us to confront the mysteries of existence: Why are we here? What is the purpose of life? In doing so, they involve us in something that goes far beyond the mere "Me." Their rituals provide us an anchor to the rest of the world, its much greater stresses and tensions making ours seem smaller.
Atheism provides no such anchor. We are left with only a materialism that does not alleviate but elevates the stresses of daily life. As Churchill wrote, "No material progress, even though it takes shapes we cannot now conceive, or however it may expand the faculties of man, can bring comfort to his soul.”
I grew up in a Catholic family in which the faith was practiced with enormous sloppiness. As a child never learned to pray the rosary properly . Somehow or another I absorbed enough of the faith to get it lodged deep in me. Once I left home to move into a college dorm I continued to study and practice the Catholic faith. When I was 41 years old I married a man who was, and is, a daily mass attender and also prays the rosary daily. He really showed me the way and it absolutely changed my life in so many ways. Reciting these ancient prayers alone, or in a group, is remarkably grounding , calming , and powerful like nothing else I have ever known. My teenage daughter also prays the rosary or bits of it whenever she needs extra calming or reassurance. I believe it will aid her and guide her throughout her life. Keep it up Jenny! I am also a Carrie Gress fan and I have really learned so much from her.
Jenny, you typically give me such hope for the future, and you especially did that today! I love your clarity, your values, your questioning and your ability to put it all into words so beautifully. I looked up Theology of the Home on Instagram, and am now following it myself, (so thank you for that, too!). It is not lost on me that their tag line is "Finding the eternal in the everyday", and you then do just that and write about it. We very flawed human beings are on a journey that has taken many ugly turns lately, and finding solace in something meaningful, beautiful and everlasting will help us through it. Thanks for the reminder!
Thank you for this, Jenny. As a practicing Catholic who tries to say the Rosary daily, I sometimes take its beauty—and Mary—for granted. The Rosary can indeed be a rescue and a much needed moment of peace in our distracted lives. I was also struck by your observation about incidents like the tranny mass at St. Pat’s as a way to demoralize us. It’s just so incredibly egregious and disrespectful—and exhausting, these endless displays, which I guess is the point. I’m a big fan of Carrie Gress and have read some of her earlier books. I’ll have to read her latest.
Your honesty gives me hope for the world Jenny. I am a trad Catholic with a wrap sheet of sins I would rather not share. However, I keep trying. I mentally pray often and everywhere through the day, but at night when I reach for my rosary and slide my fingers from bead to bead I feel her peaceful reassurance that good will prevail.
Our Lady and the Rosary prayer are there for everyone, not just we Catholic sinners. It is heartening to know that you chose to give thought to the Holy Mother. I pray that you continue to explore your spiritual path. Great blessings to you and all women who are struggling with the contemporary peer pressure to be the “culture’s version” of a woman. She who can fine tune her soul ( with aid from Mother Mary) will find peace in her own choices. It is truly liberating.
I used to think the Good/Evil paradigm was patently ridiculous.
Now I think that I'm seeing the face/s of evil sooo much, that the converse must be true. Good is real. Good is needed.
The scaffolding the Church provided - believer, or not - is no longer in situ. Worrying times.
Jenny, thank you for writing this. I find myself, the most elderly of millennials, in exactly the same boat. I’ve always arrogantly dismissed religion as silly superstitions designed to guide and control the thoughtless masses. And having grown up with a pastor grandfather who was praised by his congregants but profoundly failed to demonstrate love to his own family definitely colored my opinion. But looking around at the havoc around us, I’ve sincerely begun to question everything — among them, my knee-jerk feminism that doesn’t reflect my values anymore, the dismissal of family units as the key to stability and happiness, and the role of religion as a guide to happiness via standards, personal reflection, and hope.
Recently I’ve begun to notice the influence of what I can only describe as “God,” in my life, and through my own shock and discomfort at admitting that, I can completely identify with you in your reluctance to admit praying the rosary. It feels deeply odd to admit what is counter to my “Official Views,” but what I viscerally know to be true all the same. Perhaps I will join you, and hope for continued nurturing from God, or Mary, or whoever is out there, in my life.
The way is long, but far more satisfying than endless numbing self exploration. The Church is only a reflection of those in it, and we are a deeply flawed species. We make it what it is, and only we, with reliance on God , can make it work.
great essay Jenny. I have felt everything you have expressed here at some point in my life.
as a Christian myself, I now believe that for the past decade we are finally in the post-Christian phase. I say this with no joy, but it’s incredibly obvious that all the freedom and prosperity that we have enjoyed in the West for the last century was only coasting on the waning equity of Christendom. Jesus said that a house built on sand will collapse and fall into the sea once the rain begins (Matthew 7:24). without a foundation built on a transcendent truth, our society is teetering on the verge of collapse. we see it everywhere.
I understand and relate to your struggles with Faith. a point of view that helped me early on is to think of Faith not as belief, but as trust. as in letting go of the ego that seeks control and surrendering to the Divine. Faith equals True Freedom.
keep praying the Rosary and draw near to the Lord. especially in the presence of Evil.
you are on the right path. may God Bless You.
An excellent piece of thought. Belief without religion is real, but the comforting rituals we grew up with have meaning too. The rosary is also a much healthier way to find comfort than mac n cheese, Fritos, or Dove bars.
And slowly, bit by bit and in the dark, that still small Voice patiently calls. And waits to shine the light.
Welcome home.
What a place of peace your Substack is, Jenny. I'm not praying the rosary, but I did build a labyrinth in my backyard beside a statue of St. Francis that I found at a garden shop. Many years ago, I once prayerfully walked a peace-filled outdoor labyrinth on the grounds of a Catholic Church in Knoxville, TN (you had to walk through a small grove of pine trees to get to it—I had the whole labyrinth to myself that day and —oh!—what a heavenly experience it was). I loved that peaceful labyrinth experience so much that I built my own labyrinth in my backyard, complete with the same-sized St. Francis statue perched on a nearby rock in the woods beside the labyrinth. As our world grows darker every day, we all need to grab ahold of whatever spiritual tools help us to feel closer to The Divine. For some, it's reading the Bible; for others, it's going to church or listening to sermons. But for folks like me (and I'm guessing you, too), it's the quiet daily rituals like praying the rosary, participating in Lent (which I'm also doing now), lighting candles as one prays for others (a practice I borrowed from a friend’s Catholic Church I once visited—I saw her light a candle for a friend and I was hooked!), or walking a labyrinth. You may already know this, but the Catholics used to have labyrinths built into the floors of their cathedrals in Europe. It was a way of mimicking a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. Folks would make a pilgrimage to their closest cathedral, then they would walk the labyrinth, inside the cathedral, praying to God all the way to the center of the labyrinth and then back out again. Any little thing we can do to make The Divine more real is, in my opinion, a good (as in “only God is good”) thing. I believe we should embrace such acts whole heartedly!.... Thank you for your post today, Jenny. It made me feel the way I do when I occasionally crack open a window in my house during the winter so the whole house can receive a blast of cold but cleansing air. Blessings to you, Jenny! : )
What an excellent essay. I have subscribed to your Substack as a result of reading this, and am grateful I have done so. Read a few of your previous posts and I find your insights into Western decay quote compelling. Looking forward to reading more of your work. And I’m also glad that you’ve found solace in Our Lady. She is the spiritual mother of Catholic and non-Catholic alike.
Satan appears as an angel of light and is all too happy for us to prioritize absolutely anything over a direct conversation with our Heavenly Father on a moment by moment basis. You really can talk to him about anything; everything.
You don’t have to be a true believer to talk to God and have him hear you as long as you are truly, honestly, genuinely seeking the truth; the only truth that is really true; God’s truth.
I was struck by your insight that the presence of evil -- not just ordinary self-absorption or slagging off others, but truly nihilistic and (I'll say it) demonic evil,--- points backhandedly at the existence of good, and of God.
There is so much truly twisted and imbecilic *wrongfulness* (beyond what you'd expect from mere humans) that I think this world would be annihilated were it not for a countervailing good, a good that is much more deeply rooted and, in the end, invincible. It must be so, or we would have all have dissolved into salted-snail-slime long ago.
God bless you, Jenny. And may Mary shelter you under her mantle, near to her Son, near to her heart.
At their most fundamental, all religions force us to confront the mysteries of existence: Why are we here? What is the purpose of life? In doing so, they involve us in something that goes far beyond the mere "Me." Their rituals provide us an anchor to the rest of the world, its much greater stresses and tensions making ours seem smaller.
Atheism provides no such anchor. We are left with only a materialism that does not alleviate but elevates the stresses of daily life. As Churchill wrote, "No material progress, even though it takes shapes we cannot now conceive, or however it may expand the faculties of man, can bring comfort to his soul.”
I grew up in a Catholic family in which the faith was practiced with enormous sloppiness. As a child never learned to pray the rosary properly . Somehow or another I absorbed enough of the faith to get it lodged deep in me. Once I left home to move into a college dorm I continued to study and practice the Catholic faith. When I was 41 years old I married a man who was, and is, a daily mass attender and also prays the rosary daily. He really showed me the way and it absolutely changed my life in so many ways. Reciting these ancient prayers alone, or in a group, is remarkably grounding , calming , and powerful like nothing else I have ever known. My teenage daughter also prays the rosary or bits of it whenever she needs extra calming or reassurance. I believe it will aid her and guide her throughout her life. Keep it up Jenny! I am also a Carrie Gress fan and I have really learned so much from her.
Jenny, you typically give me such hope for the future, and you especially did that today! I love your clarity, your values, your questioning and your ability to put it all into words so beautifully. I looked up Theology of the Home on Instagram, and am now following it myself, (so thank you for that, too!). It is not lost on me that their tag line is "Finding the eternal in the everyday", and you then do just that and write about it. We very flawed human beings are on a journey that has taken many ugly turns lately, and finding solace in something meaningful, beautiful and everlasting will help us through it. Thanks for the reminder!
Thank you for this, Jenny. As a practicing Catholic who tries to say the Rosary daily, I sometimes take its beauty—and Mary—for granted. The Rosary can indeed be a rescue and a much needed moment of peace in our distracted lives. I was also struck by your observation about incidents like the tranny mass at St. Pat’s as a way to demoralize us. It’s just so incredibly egregious and disrespectful—and exhausting, these endless displays, which I guess is the point. I’m a big fan of Carrie Gress and have read some of her earlier books. I’ll have to read her latest.