It must be very difficult indeed to be young girl (or boy) growing up in today's woke craziness. It is hard enough being middle aged or elderly today but being young and impressionable increases the potential harm. The best thing that parents and other sane concerned adults (grandparents, aunts, uncles, the remaining good teachers and librarians, etc.) can do is to present kids with the truth as they are being fed lies by the ever more encroaching woke culture. Too many of these kids have never even heard the truth much less been nurtured in it.
Yes, the harm being done to young people is really immeasurable right now. Sometimes I wonder if I'm overplaying it, but it does feel like humans have never done this particular brand of crazy before.
Such a huge and multi-tentacled topic (for me as once-girl, now-woman, now-mother, ex-left...). Thanks for your approach here. Bless those girls!
Like the wading girls, my head just swims at what kids face right now. I'm weirdly optimistic about the future, but this period (no pun intended but I'll take it) is a clusterf*ck.
I was thinking this too. It's one thing to hope your daughters will have enough character to stand up for themselves and to have the wit to navigate the predatory attention that will inevitably come their way. It's another to create an artificial culture of "fierce girlhood". To tell them in subtle and not so subtle ways that the patriarchy is out to get them. It has ever been so and shall always be, and their role is to be like the statue of the girl standing in front of the Wall Street Bull. No wonder they are cutting themselves. No wonder they are anxious. They are to be thrown into the volcano.
I remember my a friend's daughter being praised for taking part in a bake sale at her elite high school in which they charged different prices to boys and girls in supposed accordance with the wage gap. It went over everyone's head when I pointed out that if the men were were under 30 they'd be earning less than their female peers. This was snarky of me, I admit. But it was like seeing a normal intelligent girl moulded into an ideological automaton. The last time I saw her she was trying hard to look like a man and had scarred wrists.
Wow, Nancy, this was such a brilliant comment. Spot on! Regarding what happened at the bake sale: I'm really shocked to hear things like this are happening. It's indoctrination, and a very slippery slope. And I'm disturbed by the hypocrisy and double standards here. Some years ago, I saw a women's t-shirt for sale online (from some well-known store, I think) with the slogan 'THE FUTURE IS FEMALE' It was probably meant to be an empowering message for girls. Yet if we were being sold t-shirts with 'THE FUTURE IS MALE' on the front, there would be an outcry! I know that traditionally there was sexism towards women and this is a reaction, but I feel that more sexism is not the answer to sexism. I also completely agree with your point about predatory men. We need to teach our girls the reality of this, as well as resilience, while reminding them that the majority of men are not like that. It's interesting, because I was born in the sixties, and was completely unprepared for male attention. My mum never talked about it, and I had a couple of nasty experiences before I learnt caution. Whereas now, girls are getting the message that all men in general are inherently sexist or predatory. It's one extreme to another.
Ha! I was born in 60s too. I think I was pretty lucky because, although like you, I wasn't specifically prepared, I grew up on a diet of fairy tales and Laura Ingles Wilder so when I did find myself in dodgy situations I somehow had enough faith in my own ability and resourcefulness to come through unscathed. I think it was different for people born a bit later. The number of women I talk to still nursing a sense of injustice and resentment because a-bad-thing-happened-that-no-one-prepared-them-for is striking. I am not sure it's realistic to tell kids that this might happen or that might happen. It doesn't really prepare them and just makes them paranoid. I think the preparation, if you can all it that is something deeper and not something parents can *do* through curating their activities.
Hi Nancy! So, another Generation Xer! I loved stories as a kid, too, and remember 'Little House on the Prairie' well. My favourite book as a kid was 'Heidi' which may have contributed to my love of nature, freedom and the great outdoors. As for me, I was a bit of a tomboy. I had 2 brothers, one of whom I used to fight with a lot, so these 2 things made me quite tough and feisty. When I left the UK to go backpacking alone, this ability to protect myself really came in handy (I once protected myself with my umbrella!! It worked!) I think we Generation Xers had a lot of physical freedom, and, looking back, I feel very grateful for that. I remember disappearing for most of the day during the summer holidays, and my parents didn't even know where I was most of the time. Maybe this freedom taught us (girls) a lot, in terms of sussing out dodgy people or situations, and how to look after ourselves. Yes, I agree with you on that last point. We need to ensure our girls are prepared for dodgy guys/situations without filling them with fears. I try to do this with my daughters.
Doesn't it feel very much like there is a direct correlation btw those kinds of ideological manipulations and the self-harm?? Very interesting anecdote, thank you for sharing.
As usual, Jenny, you hit the nail on the head! So beautifully written. This pressing need to be different is a typical phase during the teen years ( I remember my own punk rebellion and trying to be different and shocking!) And there's nothing wrong with that per se. But nowadays the adults in the room are actively encouraging it, maybe as an extension of their own egos and belief that they themselves are different and special. And I really do believe we are all different and special anyway, without all the attention-seeking, hyper individualised behaviour which is now being encouraged. Becoming an adult is challenging enough, without all this crap.
Exactly! it feels like the middle aged and the adults, who are supposed to be wise, are greedily feasting off youth culture in order to maintain their own long-gone youth. It's gross.
As a mom with two “ white middle class” (ie, non special or unique ) teen girls in Brooklyn, this hit home. It’s tough, real tough. Not a day goes by where I don’t see my girls ( and their friends) struggling in this culture it’s heartbreaking and hard to know know what to do about it. Thankfully no fur pronouns yet. Thanks for the post.
Wow -- I really didn't expect this short piece to resonate with so many people. I'm partly glad that it did but also even more alarmed that this is such a widespread issue. Thank you for sharing your own perspective here.
For someone who doesn't have kids, I spend a lot of time thinking about what it's like to be one now, compared to when I was one in the late '50s to early '70s. The way they are raised, schooled, continuously monitored, and indoctrinated bears no resemblance to the freedom boys and girls had a few generations ago. I know a woman in her mid thirties who still talks and has the body language of a thirteen-year-old, along with a bitter resentment of The Patriarchy she received from her angry PhD mother. When I was a child, there were actual thirteen-year-olds who were more grown up than this person. If there's ever to be a return to normality, I probably won't live long enough to see it.
My other comment is about the photo. When I first glanced at it I thought it was a colorized photograph from around 1900! I mean that in the most complimentary way imaginable.
It must be very difficult indeed to be young girl (or boy) growing up in today's woke craziness. It is hard enough being middle aged or elderly today but being young and impressionable increases the potential harm. The best thing that parents and other sane concerned adults (grandparents, aunts, uncles, the remaining good teachers and librarians, etc.) can do is to present kids with the truth as they are being fed lies by the ever more encroaching woke culture. Too many of these kids have never even heard the truth much less been nurtured in it.
Yes, the harm being done to young people is really immeasurable right now. Sometimes I wonder if I'm overplaying it, but it does feel like humans have never done this particular brand of crazy before.
Such a huge and multi-tentacled topic (for me as once-girl, now-woman, now-mother, ex-left...). Thanks for your approach here. Bless those girls!
Like the wading girls, my head just swims at what kids face right now. I'm weirdly optimistic about the future, but this period (no pun intended but I'll take it) is a clusterf*ck.
I am also weirdly optimistic! It's just our nature maybe?
I was thinking this too. It's one thing to hope your daughters will have enough character to stand up for themselves and to have the wit to navigate the predatory attention that will inevitably come their way. It's another to create an artificial culture of "fierce girlhood". To tell them in subtle and not so subtle ways that the patriarchy is out to get them. It has ever been so and shall always be, and their role is to be like the statue of the girl standing in front of the Wall Street Bull. No wonder they are cutting themselves. No wonder they are anxious. They are to be thrown into the volcano.
I remember my a friend's daughter being praised for taking part in a bake sale at her elite high school in which they charged different prices to boys and girls in supposed accordance with the wage gap. It went over everyone's head when I pointed out that if the men were were under 30 they'd be earning less than their female peers. This was snarky of me, I admit. But it was like seeing a normal intelligent girl moulded into an ideological automaton. The last time I saw her she was trying hard to look like a man and had scarred wrists.
Wow, Nancy, this was such a brilliant comment. Spot on! Regarding what happened at the bake sale: I'm really shocked to hear things like this are happening. It's indoctrination, and a very slippery slope. And I'm disturbed by the hypocrisy and double standards here. Some years ago, I saw a women's t-shirt for sale online (from some well-known store, I think) with the slogan 'THE FUTURE IS FEMALE' It was probably meant to be an empowering message for girls. Yet if we were being sold t-shirts with 'THE FUTURE IS MALE' on the front, there would be an outcry! I know that traditionally there was sexism towards women and this is a reaction, but I feel that more sexism is not the answer to sexism. I also completely agree with your point about predatory men. We need to teach our girls the reality of this, as well as resilience, while reminding them that the majority of men are not like that. It's interesting, because I was born in the sixties, and was completely unprepared for male attention. My mum never talked about it, and I had a couple of nasty experiences before I learnt caution. Whereas now, girls are getting the message that all men in general are inherently sexist or predatory. It's one extreme to another.
Ha! I was born in 60s too. I think I was pretty lucky because, although like you, I wasn't specifically prepared, I grew up on a diet of fairy tales and Laura Ingles Wilder so when I did find myself in dodgy situations I somehow had enough faith in my own ability and resourcefulness to come through unscathed. I think it was different for people born a bit later. The number of women I talk to still nursing a sense of injustice and resentment because a-bad-thing-happened-that-no-one-prepared-them-for is striking. I am not sure it's realistic to tell kids that this might happen or that might happen. It doesn't really prepare them and just makes them paranoid. I think the preparation, if you can all it that is something deeper and not something parents can *do* through curating their activities.
Hi Nancy! So, another Generation Xer! I loved stories as a kid, too, and remember 'Little House on the Prairie' well. My favourite book as a kid was 'Heidi' which may have contributed to my love of nature, freedom and the great outdoors. As for me, I was a bit of a tomboy. I had 2 brothers, one of whom I used to fight with a lot, so these 2 things made me quite tough and feisty. When I left the UK to go backpacking alone, this ability to protect myself really came in handy (I once protected myself with my umbrella!! It worked!) I think we Generation Xers had a lot of physical freedom, and, looking back, I feel very grateful for that. I remember disappearing for most of the day during the summer holidays, and my parents didn't even know where I was most of the time. Maybe this freedom taught us (girls) a lot, in terms of sussing out dodgy people or situations, and how to look after ourselves. Yes, I agree with you on that last point. We need to ensure our girls are prepared for dodgy guys/situations without filling them with fears. I try to do this with my daughters.
Doesn't it feel very much like there is a direct correlation btw those kinds of ideological manipulations and the self-harm?? Very interesting anecdote, thank you for sharing.
I think there might also be an element of social contagion to the cutting. It seems to happen in friend groups, like "coming out" as trans.
As usual, Jenny, you hit the nail on the head! So beautifully written. This pressing need to be different is a typical phase during the teen years ( I remember my own punk rebellion and trying to be different and shocking!) And there's nothing wrong with that per se. But nowadays the adults in the room are actively encouraging it, maybe as an extension of their own egos and belief that they themselves are different and special. And I really do believe we are all different and special anyway, without all the attention-seeking, hyper individualised behaviour which is now being encouraged. Becoming an adult is challenging enough, without all this crap.
Exactly! it feels like the middle aged and the adults, who are supposed to be wise, are greedily feasting off youth culture in order to maintain their own long-gone youth. It's gross.
As a mom with two “ white middle class” (ie, non special or unique ) teen girls in Brooklyn, this hit home. It’s tough, real tough. Not a day goes by where I don’t see my girls ( and their friends) struggling in this culture it’s heartbreaking and hard to know know what to do about it. Thankfully no fur pronouns yet. Thanks for the post.
Wow -- I really didn't expect this short piece to resonate with so many people. I'm partly glad that it did but also even more alarmed that this is such a widespread issue. Thank you for sharing your own perspective here.
For someone who doesn't have kids, I spend a lot of time thinking about what it's like to be one now, compared to when I was one in the late '50s to early '70s. The way they are raised, schooled, continuously monitored, and indoctrinated bears no resemblance to the freedom boys and girls had a few generations ago. I know a woman in her mid thirties who still talks and has the body language of a thirteen-year-old, along with a bitter resentment of The Patriarchy she received from her angry PhD mother. When I was a child, there were actual thirteen-year-olds who were more grown up than this person. If there's ever to be a return to normality, I probably won't live long enough to see it.
My other comment is about the photo. When I first glanced at it I thought it was a colorized photograph from around 1900! I mean that in the most complimentary way imaginable.
Isn't it crazy? Listen to AOC and her baby-girl voice. It's just weird and creepy and inappropriate. Bring back adulthood!!
Oh, any my childhood was in some ways a throwback to 1900! 🤣
The link to the frog pronoun girl whatever that means has been deactivated. What a dystopian new world we live in.
It worked when I clicked it?