I don’t follow either of these people because I have zero interest in what they have to say, but I found your essay entertaining. You obviously married well, as well!
Great piece, and it tracks with everything I have heard about the two of them.
"Over-self-promotion" is a tricky mistress!
Word is, that "M" is shopping her post-divorce tell all book deal already, just to be ready, and to get the best deal... Harry and Alec should dump these two, and do Bosom Buddies reality show, where all they do is chase broads, drink, party, and talk about how much they hate their ex-wives.... even I'd watch that!
I’m sorry but Harry & Alec are no better than their fame seeking, shallow wives and their show would be just as bad. But I get it you’d watch the guys just like the girls that watch the wives. I wouldn’t watch any of it but I also have my guilty pleasure reality shows.
That picture of Hilaria wearing a bikini in that bizarre pose on concrete with a child propped up in adoration is the epitome of cringe.
Meghan and Harry aren't going to last. Meghan is the poster female for crafting humans to increase the amount the sappy ex husband will owe after the inevitable girl boss divorce.
As they say in all sanctioned boxing matches, prior to the fight starting. be clean and ready, no taunting, obey commands and protect yourself at all times…Okay ring the bell. When the revolution comes, both will be paraded onto the stage for a public struggle session and their children sent to work camps to make Nike sneakers for the Chinese market. This was a great bit of writing and we need more it to pull the veneer away from these heartless fools who think they have something to say. Anyone else by the way that shoots and kills another human being here in the lower 48 goes to jail, accidents with guns don’t get “I am sorry, I didn’t know the gun was loaded.” Alec Baldwin ought to be doing a 5 year stretch for at the least some level of manslaughter. He is not even remotely sorry he killed someone, just that he killed his waning career. So maybe having that harpy wife of his humiliating him publicly is punishment, not enough, but some at any rate.
The first time I was aware of Hilaria’s existence was with the “how you say? … cucumber” thing, which I still think was a gift to a stricken nation as it emerged from covid (i.e., the evil psy op, not the bug), and up until today the only thing I definitely knew about her was that she’s *not* from Spain. To that I can now add she can unironically rock a bandeau bikini, so good on her.
Of the four principals here, the only one who really registers with me at all directly – as opposed to vaguely after being reflected by and refracted through multiple iterations of cultural observation by others (including, today, Jenny) – is Alec, because I have actually seen a couple of his movies, and of course he's a talented actor. Over time, l also came to appreciate that he was a genuine Long Island-type, with the concomitant S.O.B.-ness, and I could never help but smile when I heard him read the programming intros on the NY Philharmonic’s weekly radio show, but all that’s a little soured post-“Rust” (though for all his shortcomings, he absolutely deserved to be acquitted of those criminal charges).
The Sussexes … I just can’t even, as they say. But I do worry a bit if Meghan is increasingly going to stay in the public eye purely as an object of derision. Even if she finds that preferable to not being a celebrity at all, I don’t think it’s a good place for everyone to be, and it might be best for people to gradually move on and leave her and Harry to themselves.
I feel that the best thing to do to these people is to ignore them, but, then I read it anyway, thinking it would be funny, and it was. I wonder if they realise people are laughing at them?
At any rate, it's the best argument for Communism that I've heard in a long time. Under capitalism, poor vulnerable women like these, probably with mental health issues, are forced to do degrading work like posing in their underwear and flaunting their families on Instagram. Someone should take their insane wealth (and social media accounts) away from them and let them live normal lives in a two-up, two-down house. They'll thank us for it one day.
I've never paid any attention to phony "celebrity" reality shows, not even Kardashians (I don't even know if I spelled that right, and I don't care enough to look it up). I think Markle is a wannabe Jo Jo Gaines without class or self awareness (apart from narcissism). Baldwin, on the other hand, is a complete joke with her fake Spanish accent, and a creep for doing strip-club, uh, I mean yoga poses in front of toddlers. I'm so glad my mom didn't bikini up and do sex shows for me.
But I'm being a bit of a hypocrite--if I had the nerve and was more of an extrovert, I'd definitely cultivate a rich Scottish accent.
When I heard the clip of MM talking about cultivating her garden, I thought she sounded like a p*rn star doing an audition. Not gonna lie. It was creepy and over the top. I have no idea why anyone would take her business ‘advice’ seriously with her sounding like that. She’s so fake.
I will always find it amazing that she blew the royal gig and thought she’d do better on her own. I understand why she came back to America, but she really doesn’t get that only other celebrities are going to bend a knee to her and her husband. And now many of them are just fed up with her too.
She never got out of LA and it shows. LA is a different thing compared to the rest of the country. Nobody really cares about her and her rich British hubby outside her circle. Titles don’t mean jack to most people here. They obviously can’t figure out how to fund their lifestyle, but that’s not our problem. All she had to do was keep her ego in check and they wouldn’t have their issues. I find MM fascinating because she’s so clueless on a lot of things.
This was hilarious. Thanks so much for making my Sunday morning. I know that following MM is in low taste but can’t help it. Every time I mention news about her to my husband. he rolls his eyes and walks away without listening. So this is sort of addiction, and I hear I am not alone. I suspect I may be resenting her because I am no longer young and pretty. Still, that some people do not find her cringy is beyond my comprehension. I think she takes the prize. Could we have a vote, please?
I was thinking how in the past there were beautiful celebrities whom people admired and did not spread vicious rumors and opinions about : Audrey Hepburn, Sophia Loren. Or is that just me?
I don’t follow either of these people because I have zero interest in what they have to say, but I found your essay entertaining. You obviously married well, as well!
Good for you for avoiding the inanity! I have low-brow tastes! 🤣
Low brow will never let you down.
Perfect ending - had to be a draw.
Real men are so different from real women, in so many ways, as individuals, and in groups
Great piece, and it tracks with everything I have heard about the two of them.
"Over-self-promotion" is a tricky mistress!
Word is, that "M" is shopping her post-divorce tell all book deal already, just to be ready, and to get the best deal... Harry and Alec should dump these two, and do Bosom Buddies reality show, where all they do is chase broads, drink, party, and talk about how much they hate their ex-wives.... even I'd watch that!
I'd enjoy that show. Let's bootstrap some VC funding to make it happen, and if that dog won't hunt, we'll go with jam.
I’m sorry but Harry & Alec are no better than their fame seeking, shallow wives and their show would be just as bad. But I get it you’d watch the guys just like the girls that watch the wives. I wouldn’t watch any of it but I also have my guilty pleasure reality shows.
Yeah, I'd watch that show, and I've never watched a reality show.
Omg! I needed this. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
just doing my job ma’am. 🤣
That picture of Hilaria wearing a bikini in that bizarre pose on concrete with a child propped up in adoration is the epitome of cringe.
Meghan and Harry aren't going to last. Meghan is the poster female for crafting humans to increase the amount the sappy ex husband will owe after the inevitable girl boss divorce.
As they say in all sanctioned boxing matches, prior to the fight starting. be clean and ready, no taunting, obey commands and protect yourself at all times…Okay ring the bell. When the revolution comes, both will be paraded onto the stage for a public struggle session and their children sent to work camps to make Nike sneakers for the Chinese market. This was a great bit of writing and we need more it to pull the veneer away from these heartless fools who think they have something to say. Anyone else by the way that shoots and kills another human being here in the lower 48 goes to jail, accidents with guns don’t get “I am sorry, I didn’t know the gun was loaded.” Alec Baldwin ought to be doing a 5 year stretch for at the least some level of manslaughter. He is not even remotely sorry he killed someone, just that he killed his waning career. So maybe having that harpy wife of his humiliating him publicly is punishment, not enough, but some at any rate.
Hilaria is transethnic, but Megan is even faker. That’s an accomplishment.
She's a wonder!
The first time I was aware of Hilaria’s existence was with the “how you say? … cucumber” thing, which I still think was a gift to a stricken nation as it emerged from covid (i.e., the evil psy op, not the bug), and up until today the only thing I definitely knew about her was that she’s *not* from Spain. To that I can now add she can unironically rock a bandeau bikini, so good on her.
Of the four principals here, the only one who really registers with me at all directly – as opposed to vaguely after being reflected by and refracted through multiple iterations of cultural observation by others (including, today, Jenny) – is Alec, because I have actually seen a couple of his movies, and of course he's a talented actor. Over time, l also came to appreciate that he was a genuine Long Island-type, with the concomitant S.O.B.-ness, and I could never help but smile when I heard him read the programming intros on the NY Philharmonic’s weekly radio show, but all that’s a little soured post-“Rust” (though for all his shortcomings, he absolutely deserved to be acquitted of those criminal charges).
The Sussexes … I just can’t even, as they say. But I do worry a bit if Meghan is increasingly going to stay in the public eye purely as an object of derision. Even if she finds that preferable to not being a celebrity at all, I don’t think it’s a good place for everyone to be, and it might be best for people to gradually move on and leave her and Harry to themselves.
I don’t think MM is ready to be put on the shelf. She is too needy.
I do actually feel sorry for Markle. Like, for real. She's so pathetic to me.
I feel that the best thing to do to these people is to ignore them, but, then I read it anyway, thinking it would be funny, and it was. I wonder if they realise people are laughing at them?
At any rate, it's the best argument for Communism that I've heard in a long time. Under capitalism, poor vulnerable women like these, probably with mental health issues, are forced to do degrading work like posing in their underwear and flaunting their families on Instagram. Someone should take their insane wealth (and social media accounts) away from them and let them live normal lives in a two-up, two-down house. They'll thank us for it one day.
🤣🤣
Hysterical, Jenny....I don't think I've heard or read be-titted before! I absolutely loved this article...you are too funny
Thank you!
I've never paid any attention to phony "celebrity" reality shows, not even Kardashians (I don't even know if I spelled that right, and I don't care enough to look it up). I think Markle is a wannabe Jo Jo Gaines without class or self awareness (apart from narcissism). Baldwin, on the other hand, is a complete joke with her fake Spanish accent, and a creep for doing strip-club, uh, I mean yoga poses in front of toddlers. I'm so glad my mom didn't bikini up and do sex shows for me.
But I'm being a bit of a hypocrite--if I had the nerve and was more of an extrovert, I'd definitely cultivate a rich Scottish accent.
You’re such a gracious and generous writer. 😄This was very fun and refreshing to read this morning while I’m waitedfor my kid to be ready for school!
Thank you!!
Hilarious!! Thank you for this artfully wrought schadenfreude essay!
I almost didn't read this because I make a point of never paying attention to anything MM does...but I'm glad I did because it was hilarious
Thank you for giving it a shot! 😍
When I heard the clip of MM talking about cultivating her garden, I thought she sounded like a p*rn star doing an audition. Not gonna lie. It was creepy and over the top. I have no idea why anyone would take her business ‘advice’ seriously with her sounding like that. She’s so fake.
I will always find it amazing that she blew the royal gig and thought she’d do better on her own. I understand why she came back to America, but she really doesn’t get that only other celebrities are going to bend a knee to her and her husband. And now many of them are just fed up with her too.
She never got out of LA and it shows. LA is a different thing compared to the rest of the country. Nobody really cares about her and her rich British hubby outside her circle. Titles don’t mean jack to most people here. They obviously can’t figure out how to fund their lifestyle, but that’s not our problem. All she had to do was keep her ego in check and they wouldn’t have their issues. I find MM fascinating because she’s so clueless on a lot of things.
I agree, she really does seem totally unaware of how obviously off-putting she is. I marvel at that.
This was hilarious. Thanks so much for making my Sunday morning. I know that following MM is in low taste but can’t help it. Every time I mention news about her to my husband. he rolls his eyes and walks away without listening. So this is sort of addiction, and I hear I am not alone. I suspect I may be resenting her because I am no longer young and pretty. Still, that some people do not find her cringy is beyond my comprehension. I think she takes the prize. Could we have a vote, please?
I was thinking how in the past there were beautiful celebrities whom people admired and did not spread vicious rumors and opinions about : Audrey Hepburn, Sophia Loren. Or is that just me?
oh you are definitely NOT ALONE. I think watching rich, famous women preening and strutting is actually a valuable anthropological exercise!
What do you get for the girl who wants everything? 🤔
Ha! 🤣